knowing that i had such a dream after reading my last entry is level one.

for level two(of what you thought of) of that entry, you wuldn't know unless i told you - im quite afraid of it.

instead of enjoying the seemingly interesting adventure, i fear of experiencing my dream...

...and sadly, i have no control over it.

it is, to a significant extent, disturbing. tiring.

if "ri you suo si, ye you suo meng" was true, i would have no worries for my exams, as I would have dreamt of new methods and ideas to score high marks without studying.

[ btw that doesn't exist, and i was j/k => ]

or maybe i did have some control (over my dreams).

i tried sleeping with some soothing music - and it worked.

but it was limited - becos i starting dreaming of school instead. of projects and homework.

or maybe not(limited) - becos there were no teachers in my dream.

ok jk. i mus say im jk all the time i do becos its hard to distinguish what i really mean and what i do not through plain words, if u know wad i mean

anyway, another way i do cope with that is to simply avoid it. to illustrate wad i mean, i direct you to the end of this entry where u can see what time i typed this post...

it doesn't work btw cos i'll end up waking in the afternoon -

it could be a good thing actually - if i spent this (staying up) time studying...

i had this(nocturnal) trait since i was in zhss...and i felt detached - like i belong to some other place, for example, the Night Safari

me, and my brain, is unusually active at night. To be specific, about 11pm - 4am. Certaininly not immediately after dinner, although its in the night.

but few years later, i realised its normal - yet morning lessons simply don't allow me to exploit this characteristic of myself. (becos i have to sleep early)

As such, i could only use these hours to study during holidays...

In fact, im lousy in the afternoons. When i just had lunch or im hungry and when there is a buzz of activity everywhere.

this time is perfect. Silent, peaceful. Alert.

...

off to another topic.

i did read a number of times that this...er...Gen X ppl are self-centred(only care about ownself). in the way we blog.

increasingly u may have noticed that this is what i do too!

and defend myself i must.

first. i stopped blogging about thoughts and ideas becos when i re-read my own entries on them, i simply got bored by it. my reaction to my own entry is :

"waste time"

second. blogging about other people could be scandalous. heh. jk. but it might be offensive, unwanted, meaningless. People get offended easily. Even some might prefer not to be mentioned, despite in praise, because they are humble.

blogging about people is just like undertaking an unnecessary risk. the worst risk being breaking the law.

thirdly. blogging about events. like how do i feel about the recent war in the middle east? honestly im not quite interested(which is bad) and i believe most people aren't...but its good to know that it has stopped. other than that, you could be better off reading the papers or magazines - they write 54623058432 times better.

fourth. blogging about myself. that's the only thing left to do rite?

[(you)(may)(have)(noticed)(that)(i)(used)(a)(lot)(of)(brackets)(.)(that)(is)(becos)(i)(realised)(sometimes)(for)(what)(i)(typed)(,)(only)(one)(person)(can)(understand)(.)(and)(that)(is)(myself)(.)](Thus)(,)(use)(brackets)(i)(must)(.)(.)(.)]