i ate shit in the office today. in fact yesterday already had a shit meal...but i sort of let it go by the time i reached home. actually its hard to make out what im trying to say unless u are a gd listener/reader...cos i type in what random order that is in my mind.

starting from yesterday, around 4pm. instructions were given that IRAS scanners and indexers were required to delete extra unneccesary documents. our superiors thought we knew and scolded us for some time. but coincidentally none of us heard of such a processing rule. so all the IRAS ppl got scolded, and shawn was particularly pissed with that incident. i tried to cool him down but in actual fact, i took it harder than him......................

today the department in charge of IRAS come down to do a random Q/C, and found a document that was not deleted. and the solo-shit-eating began. cos im the only final eyeball q/c checker for the past 3 days, obviously i did it. but that document was done yesterday afternoon, BEFORE we heard of the processing rule that we've never heard of.

in fact when i asked audrey, she told me to continue doing and follow the new rule from now onwards, instead of telling me to backtrack and recorrect the previous ones.

(this is hard to understand for an outsider) the mistake was found in BOX001-S06, of which yesterday they wanted to make the department upstairs to make the rectification...so it wasn't my job to go correct it. what's more, audrey din tell me to do it also. So i got farking scolded for nothing...but i just apologise like a sorry fark.

then the department ppl started laughing cos they spot another error. it was found in a rejected document q/c by me. it was tif.001 BOX001-S07, also done before the new instructions were passed. Also, past instructions were that I dun farking have to check the rejected documents. this time i was so pissed that if they demand an apology I will quit. i will pack and leave straight away. then janice had to explain to them for me that we never heard of such instructions too.

cos i know im doing final eyeball checking, i sit by the side and i never talk, just concentrate on the IRAS for the past few days...i thought i can do 100% but still i get scolded like a fark for what wrong that im not even aware of.

in fact from ytd to today i wrote down about 50 records - whatever that im unsure of that needs to be deleted, and had to hold on to a number of batches to wait the department ppl to come down to confirm with me. personally i am quite sure that i never leak any errors...i initiated myself to do extra things to ensure i will filter all errors.

so now i have to redo all the batches that i've checked before yesterday afternoon. about 50 batches? thanks the IRAS department for not making themselves clear, then blame me for errors, so i re-checked about 3k documents this afternoon. thanks, it was just...easy work

if it was my own mistake, i dun mind apologising, rechecking, and let my boss deduct my salary for that...and work OT with no dinner break...and u wun hear me talking about it also.

honestly i go over the events again and again in my mind and i dunno what did i do wrong. the only wrong thing i did is that i din explain myself to them. but i would have done so in a very heated manner cos that farker guy was laughing at my mistake and look really thrilled and atisfied when he caught it. (cos i was looking at him...) at that time i probably had a constipated-pissed face.

what's disappointing is that one of my colleagues was quick to push all the blame to me...and happily passed me the records of what im supposed to redo...but what 'blame' is there to exist in the first place actually..............................

boss told me that when i do the final eyeball q/c check, everything supposed to be almost 100% free of errors before i even check them because there are two levels of quality control before the documents reach me...but when i see for myself, one batch at least 2-3 errors, be it an indexing error or scanning error. the thing is, when i keep mum and told boss that there is no error or i dunno who did it, when the thing processed and the department come down and caught, the fault lies with me liao. so maybe i shud stop doing this...they dun know i am doing this and wun appreciate anyway. then again if i tell boss about their mistakes, boss scold them then they will buay song me. so its really a jiat sai + sai kang work.

if i failed to detect other ppl's scanning/indexing error...and when i get scolded...the most my colleagues will come and talk to me to ask me if im alright or something. if u are my colleague, will you ask me, "hey, box what batch what was that error in? i think that stack i do de. full of my mistakes. paiseh arh." you think ppl got so kind nowadays? if you are that kind...i dun mind taking the rap...that's why they say kindness begets kindness...but actually i dun tink anyone will, even is me, i also wun.

in fact our office ppl also quite heated already. by upstairs de IRAS department...late instructions. then our boss came to tell us that we had OT tml at 5pm. today morning say dun have de. so i msged vincent i free tml, he wanted to organise go kbox. xm also say tml morning go out cycling. now all can't le. i had to msg vincent that i have ot tml after giving him my word that i will be free tml. of cos, in the msg itself he is not able to hear my disappointment...i must have sound quite irresponsible. just happen so that vincent ask about my blog yesterday. so if you read this, you know i did not meant to do such a thing.

my ego abit can't take it liao. i thought i could be seen as a efficient and 100% error-free worker...and as a colleague...but now my reputation is ruined...throw face on the floor. maybe i'll explain myself if anyone asks about this (esp my boss and auntie audrey, if they were here they will defend me cos its not our department de mistake...they happen to be busy somewhere else today) but no doubt i wun feel any better abt this incident...

if i had a big heart i would have forgot abt this...but unfortunately its hard - all the way from the office in the MRT till i walk home i still can't get it off my mind. i left my colleagues cos i really no mood to go steamboat with them. come to think of it, if i did eyeball checking slowly, i would have came across less errors to rectify, and therefore leaking less errors, possibly the so called error that i made would have been someone else's. (cos more ppl doing eyeball checking now.)

also, i would have less documents to re-check. if the slowness is significant, the most boss come and tell me to do faster nia lor. will it ever farking pay to try to be a better worker and a better person?