its the AIT(advanced infantry training) phase now and as we go through whatever A phase or B phase we just have to acknowledge the fact that army life is still army life and life never gets better.

But the men will not understand.

Few days ago my CSM caught a few of my men sleeping during lectures on weapon technical handling and i was called to his office.

"Zheng Wen, have you been checking on your men? Why are they sleeping in the lecture? Did you ensure that they stick to the lights off timing?"

Kenna sabo by my own men.

Soon after, i reminded the platoon to "adhere to the lights off timing strictly" after the last parade.

That was monday night. In my own bunk, i told myself to stay awake, and finally i got up at 10.35pm, 5mins after the lights off timing, and went to check on the men.

When i entered section 3(my section), one of my men was still using his handphone. I slowly walked to his bed.

"Eh...sergeant come already. Cannot talk liao. ...really lah! ok? bye!"

I told him off in quite a vulgar manner. still have the cheek to talk somemore even when he see me.

I entered section 2 and 2 ppl were still walking around. Ppl are starting to think army orders are a joke.

Finally section 1, lagi best. 2 ppl eating instant noodle inside the bunk in the dark. I lost my patience.

I went back to bed, and i believe i returned with a much higher blood pressure than what was before i left. I really hate to do this kind of thing. Like some evil character breaking up couples from talking over the phone.

Am i catching them just becos im afraid to be reprimanded by my CSM? Or do i really care for them and want them to learn and not fall asleep? I think its the former. Im not that wei3 da4.

Indeed, the next day, most of those that i caught not sleeping on time were sleeping during lectures, and during practices they have no idea wtf is going on. Stripping, assembling, IA drills, loading unloading.... I see my friends losing patience over those blur cocks, and i see those that are willing to learn getting less attention becos we need to teach those cocksters all over again.

Every night i reminded them to sleep on time.

Tues night, I struggled to stay awake as usual, did my rounds, and caught the same few ppl.

Wednesday, i overheard one of my men, saying

"Aiya, scared what? sergeant catch me so many time liao...the most also kena scolding... also never kena confine..."

Sigh.

Wed night, the third time i caught him still walking around the bunk late into the night. I told him to fall in FBO(full battle order). And slammed the door behind me. It was 11pm.

I made him run round the parade square in his FBO. I guess i really lost my patience then. It is illegal. It is the wrong thing to do, later as i thought about it, becos it will only make him more tired, right?

I went to bed with heightened blood pressure and i thought i really turned bad. Talk nicely never seem to work.

thursday night i reluctantly checked on them again and i really didn't want to get angry anymore. its sickening and tiring. then i saw all my men sleeping soundly. It was very satisfying. I guess the men heard of the FBO incident from one another and aren't so daring now.

Somehow, im slowly being convinced by my men that learning can only work the hard way. I really wish talking and explaining the rationale of doing things will work.

Then, there's so much things to do besides ensuring the men sleep on time. There's so many reasons to get angry, like insubordination, attitude problems, selfishness, not marching properly, not falling in on time...no wonder some sergeants were sort of like permanently angry when i was a recruit.

I keep reminding myself, don't get angry, don't get angry, talk nicely. don't spoil your own mood. when will they ever learn?