We have finally finished our AIT(advanced infantry training). Whacked everything for the past 3 weeks. 10km rm(ops load), we whack. battlecourse, whack. shellscrape. 12km navigation. UO(urban ops). CO gives the mission. We'll do it.

But I remember the days didn't go by so easily. Tough times. The days were long and the pain was enduring. But im not worried abt myself.

Some of the men will keep quiet. Of these, some can take it, but some will gradually slow down, and give up.

Some of the men will be very noisy. Some will keep complaining, but some will just start talking all sorts of cock and never stop and its quiet entertaining.

How ppl take pain so differently. Shoulder pain. Leg pain. Knee pain. Everyone carries easily more than 25kg of load these days.

Nobody wants to be in infantry. Nobody wants to be riflemen. If not for having to stay back on weekends for RT,(remedial training) everyone would have chao geng and siam all the training. If not bound by military law, everyone would have left. There will be no infantry, only NSF's who do admin work, perhaps the drivers, the storemen.

Many of the riflemen are thinking of this thing called down PES. Once a riflemen is certified as not being combat fit, he will be posted out. To better places.

Its hard to convince the men to have faith in being a rifleman. Who wants to suffer? Who doesn't want an easy life? An easy 2 years? Who dun want sia. Even sergeants want.

And look at the men! Some of them put in effort in training. But they end up with injured limbs, muscle aches, even fractures. I've seen it. One of my men was so persistent in finishing his shellscrape and ended up hitting 40 degrees. As if they owed the SAF a living.

So where do i start convincing the men abt the good things of being a rifleman?...

My platoon commented to me today that they always see me smiling. Of course its fake. In the toughest times, im still smiling. I'd imagine im a rifleman and if i see my commander with that shag and pissed off face, i think i'd start entertaining negative thoughts - you know what i mean.

Yeah. Im swearing and swearing to this infantry thing all the way. We'll walk! Walk in circles! They say we'll take a detour "to avoid enemy detection". My men will ask me why are we walking a big round in marsiling. Why is the objective so far? Im swearing inside but i have to put up this garang face and tell them :

"Who cares how far we walk? Eventually we'll get there. I assure you. As long as nobody gives up, we'll get there."

There were many defining moments. Once, my chinaman Xiao Jun was supporting Fitra up a knoll as he almost fell on his side. Xiao Jun grabbed him and pulled him up, and dragged Fitra up with an arm over his neck. Nothing was said. Xiao Jun doesn't speak English.

where else on earth do you see a chinaman helping a melayu this way?

Then, there was once i raised my voice on one of my men as though i could inject some life into him. When i saw him walking slower and slower, we took a break, and he starting crying. I went over.

"why. was i too harsh?"

"No..."

"then why you cry?..."

"...my shoulder really pain..."

Look what i've done. ARGH! That's too much. that scene is unforgettable.

All along the way, we see drivers driving safety rovers and tonners. We see medics in the safety rovers. We see storemen in the tonners. We see signallers doing nothing but manning the signal set. And we'll walk. I'll start swearing again, but mindful not to show my shag face.

At the end of the mission/exercise, we'll walk back to camp. Yes! Infantry style. We operate like no vehicles exist in the SAF. I swear and swear.

We walk back to camp!

And the moment we unsling our rifles, put down our field packs and unstrap the LBV - just for awhile, i've got this feeling that im unstoppable. Just for a moment i really thought i am. And then i realise what's good about infantry.

Its nothing to do with the rifles. The equipment. Its about yurself and the people around you and the things you've gone through with them.

LOOK! you've done something you thought it was impossible. You probably weren't confident that you could do it. So what really is impossible?

Look at the men. The delight of completing the mission. How do we treasure our book outs after all that shit! Just being at home or being with friends...its fantastic.

Look at the drivers and the medics and the storemen and the signallers and the ppl who chao geng. We're larger than them! Not because of our abilities or our skills but look what we've gone through as compared to them.

Look at how we've survived as a team. See for yurself what teamwork really is. The so called teamwork we learn in school isn't that real.

So this is the real infantry! Who say infantry is about riflemen and their rifles? Who actually cares how far the sar21 can shoot or how lethal is the m203? After you ORD...is that what we take home? We take home the unstoppable feeling instead!