Well its the holidays and im having fun in moderation.

Life has been peaceful relative to those army days where life was a roller coaster ride. Nothing really irks me now other than my results.

Because life is so peaceful, I don't have much to share with you.

How about I tell you what has been on my mind right now. I was thinking, in fact, about myself.

I was thinking about my own life. I have so many questions. And im too foolish to find any answer to any of those.

I was thinking - why am i who i am? Sometimes when im alone, on the bus, on the train, my mind starts to go wild.

Imagine I was born in Somalia. Right now im 21 years of age. I might be a pirate. Maybe because most of my friends are. Maybe because its lucrative. Or maybe because its the only way i could survive. I could have done many bad things, but the justice I might believe in is to get money and feed my family and give them a good life.

Imagine I was born in Japan 90 years ago. Right now im 23 years of age. I might be a soldier. Maybe because I was forced in it. Maybe because I love my country. Maybe because my family sent me for it. I could have done many bad things, but the justice I might believe in is to kill the enemy, and die for my country.

And now I am born in Singapore. Why am I who I am?

This might sound weird, but I do wonder if I actually have control over myself.

Do I decide everything, or do my circumstances shape who i am today? I am not about to try to convince you that we don't have control over ourselves. Although one module in philosophy is enough to affect my pea brain so badly after reading papers by some philosophers suggesting that, yes, we don't.

But my perspective towards that is different, because i am very worried that I so happen to be a good guy simply because i live in such circumstances. Should things change, then I could turn into a villain, don't you think so? What is the justice that I believe in? Will everything change when it all comes down to life and death?

After the bodyguards and assassins movie that I watched hours ago, I thought that maybe, only those who are not afraid to lose their lives would actually have control over it. Of course, the movie involves more elements of history that philosophy. I just imagined those ideas myself.

Alright, I should really stash those thoughts now, have some ice cream and continue to enjoy my peaceful life.